you said that i should keep my mouth shut because i do more damage with them open than i already do closed. but i'm going to open mine so you can know the truth, the truth from me, not someone else.
if all that you said is true, fine. you can say i deserved all that or whatever. but have you ever thought about hearing all this from me? now that all this damage has been done, you probably don't give a shit about what i have to say, but at least give it a listen.
please don't judge what i'm feeling through one lousy e-mail. those weren't words from my mouth, ever. sure, you could say i'm sad and miserable, say what you want. but all i wanted was for you to be happy. i didn't care if you had found a new person, so long as you were happy. but if i'm getting laughed at over that, then i don't even know what to think anymore.
you said i'm assuming the worst; what about you? you get one e-mail from someone saying this and saying that. now you're pissed off for nothing because i never thought that. the context was, "all she ever did was love you"; it's not in first person. maybe she thinks that, but i don't. and i didn't go tell her to think that way, i didn't tell her to e-mail you in that manner. i didn't know anything about it. she heard from a friend of hers and she told me about you. her friend also told me. i'm not going around fishing for gossip. i do let them think for themselves. the e-mail for example, had nothing to do with me and how i felt about the whole thing. if you would like to know, i was bummed out at first, but not because you found someone else. and i said "i hope he's happy". why is such kind of action yielding so much hate?
i think you would also like to know about the letter you got on thanksgiving break. it's came from the same person who e-mailed you. she told me "not to read it". i didn't know the context of that letter (just like the e-mail you got couple of days ago), so i didn't know how much false statements were included in it. well, she told me later. not that it matters now, but you got fed augmented lies. i'm not going to say that everything was false, but poorly stated, that's for sure. the person who had been giving me "gossip" was your best friend, you know. everything from the drinking, drugging, blocking the screen names... that all came from your best friend. i thought your closest friends deserved to know how you were doing. what your best friend said was all i knew, so i told them. i didn't think that they'd start writing letters to you saying things i obviously didn't know about (therefore concluding that it's not what i thought).
if, even after all this explaining you couldn't care, so be it. but it hurts reading your site thinking that all that anger was aroused from one stupid e-mail that didn't convey my true feelings at all. i could have done the same on this site, get mad and post a really hurtful entry. but i'm not going to assume anything anymore. call me a coward, but i don't have the guts to do something like that. but the same coward only wanted for you to be happy.
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